A NOT really shocking new poll has revealed today that 63% of men fake caring about women faking orgasms.
In a survey carried out by WWN, a staggering two thirds of males answered ‘I don’t give a toss’ when asked if they cared about a recent study that found 67% of women faked climaxing.
“Why would I care?” said 38-year-old Tommy Mackey from Dublin. “It’s not like we’re in it to pleasure women anyway – a ride is a ride like. Are they looking for an Oscar or something? I don’t get it”.
When asked why they would fake caring about women not having orgasms, 28% said they liked the idea of their partners believing that they would care if they ‘got there’ or not.
“You know yourself, women are a sensitive bunch so if I said I didn’t care she’d be like ‘you don’t love me anymore’,” admitted Conor Brady, who wished to remain anonymous for fear of reprisals. “To be honest, I just plough away regardless of her groans and moans.
“The whole sex thing is only an act any way to get you to the finalé.
“I do my best, feed the pony and what have you. If she doesn’t get there, then that’s her problem,” he added, ensuring we heard the bit about keeping his name anonymous. “Sure, you could be hours trying to start that yoke up – it’s like an old lawnmower engine at times”.
Despite the struggles in caring if their partners’ climaxes, the survey revealed that almost all men surveyed had never once faked an orgasm themselves, with the majority stating: “What would be the fucking point in that?”