DENTIST Tom Maher is set to ask a series of questions once he’s got you in the dentist’s chair and his hands are lodged in your mouth, WWN can exclusively reveal.
In stark contrast to the 10 minutes your dentist spent in silence staring at his fancy clipboard, he will then attack you with an enthusiastic barrage of questions, each one more personal than the next, once in his elbow has disappeared out of your view and into your mouth.
“Ah, I just like to fuck with people. Staring into people’s mouths all day is surprisingly boring so if I can eek out a moment of awkwardness and panic, I’ll bloody well do it,” Maher explained to WWN.
Just as Maher starts up the drill thing that scares the living daylights out of you, he begins firing off several questions completely aware of the fact that you think if you move your tongue to answer that drill thing will chop it in half.
In an attempt to answer the ‘do young women your age have much of the sex then?’ you accidentally choke on your own saliva with a panicked cough launching out of your mouth onto the bottom of your chin.
“Ha ha, the look on their poor fucking faces. I start off before staring at a clipboard of ‘really important notes’, then I say ‘pop yourself up on the seat there'”, Maher explained, “jokes on them because I usually just stare at a drawing of a dick I just did. I love a good dick drawing”.
Maher went on to explain that he doesn’t always draw dicks, he does occasionally draw women riding unicorns into battle against an evil empire of intergalactic squirrels.
“I just really wanted to do art in college, but my father made me do this instead,” Maher added.
After asking over 47 questions in the 5 minutes you were in the chair, Maher then charged you a ridiculous amount of money.