A WEEKLY family dinner held at the O’Connell family house in the
Waterford town of Dungarvan has finally arrived at the juncture in which
family matriarch Emelda O’Connell’s racist asides go completely
unchallenged.
After enjoying a chicken roast cooked by her daughter-in-law Emma,
Emelda felt the time in between collecting plates and starting on
dessert would be the perfect time to bring up a humorous anecdote about
the ‘foreign lady’ working in the post office.
Despite the presence of 7 non-racist family members at the table
Emelda’s story, interspersed with laughter, about how “isn’t it funny,
I’m getting my pension from one of them lot off the boat, my State
benefit from someone who’s here to rob the State,” went uninterrupted
for its entire 4 minutes and 37 second duration.
“Oh, strawberries and cream,” Emelda’s son John shouted with relief
as soon as he caught sight of dessert while also exchanging awkward
glances with his three daughters.
“You don’t have any of them at your school girls, do you?” Emelda
ventured, forcing John to choke on a strawberry, before adding “thank
God” after her 6-year-old granddaughter Jenny said ‘no’ in a confused
tone.
Emelda then made several more observations about ethnic minorities as the room grew ever silent.
“Do you like the strawberries then Emelda?” Emma said favouring a new
tactic of preoccupying her mother-in-law with incessant questions until
such a time as she grew tired and decided she wanted to go home.
At a healthy 79 it is believed racist granny Emelda has as many as
237 more weekly dinner time tirades left in her before she dies.
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