A DUBLIN man is trying way too fucking hard to be
arty, claiming he’s suddenly interested in strange pieces that
appear quirky and abstract, that no one else gets.
Terry Mackey, who has spent the last six years of his life being
unemployed, changed his online work status to ‘artist’, much to the
surprise of family and friends who know him ‘too well’.
“Dole artist more like,” pointed out sister Mary Mackey, who admitted
being sick of his pretentious bullshit lately. “Terry bought a stripey
scarf and one of those blazers last month and thinks he’s Andy fucking
Warhol all of a sudden. All he does is hop from one exhibition to the
next availing of the free wine. It must be great to have no job to just
talk shite all night while sleeping all day.”
Mr. Mackey, who crushed 14 empty cans of Bulmers with his
forehead last Paddy’s Day, denied his recent interest in art was just a
phase, stating he used to “always love drawing on desks in school”.
“I think the education system in Ireland held me back if I’m honest,”
he told WWN, also blaming peer pressure from classmates
for picking metalwork instead of art for the leaving cert. “I’m like a
blossoming flower right now that has been left in the shade for most of
its life. Now that the sun is shinning on my weary petals, I can only
get brighter and more colourful.”
In a series of rather odd pictures of himself staring deeply into a
mirror, the stay-at-home son of two announced he will be organising his
own exhibition very soon and would love if everyone could make it along.
“I’m gonna call it ‘reflections of the self’,” he explained on the
Facebook events page he created, before inviting all 1,435 of his
friends. “You don’t have to understand my art to appreciate it. Just
soak it in. It is what it is.”