THERE was widespread condemnation of the HSE yesterday after a
shocking investigation into the Midlands Regional Hospital revealed that
the facility is nothing but a facade made from plywood screwed to a
huge scaffolding.
The damning independent report comes after a number of investigations
by HIQA, the body set up by the HSE to investigate itself, all of which
found the MRH to be “grand”.
The hospital, located in Portlaoise, has come under fire in recent
months following a number of tragic cases arising from its maternity
wing, as well as chronic overcrowding and waiting times. The latest
report from HIQA stated that while the hospital was “absolutely fine”,
they would be outsourcing complex surgery procedures to other, already
under-staffed units around the country.
This prompted an independent inquiry, which revealed that the
Midlands Regional Hospital has been nothing but an elaborate set for
quite some time, with sick and elderly people just sort of hanging
around outside.
“There’s shop mannequins dressed up as doctors and nurses standing in
the windows,” said independent investigator Hannah Chambers, pointing
at the glassless windows of the huge fake building as it swayed in the
wind.
“It looks convincing enough from the road, but when you turn to go
round the back, there’s just nothing. I spoke to several people who were
waiting in the “A&E” department, which is just a three rows of
chairs in front of a window”.
“They were assured they would be seen by a member of staff, but when I
snuck round the back I found a cardboard cut-out of a nurse going round
a train track, which would play a “someone will see you soon” recording
as it passed the window. Most people just go home after two days, so
nobody ever found out the truth”.
Minister for health Leo Varadkar has so far refused to comment on the
matter, but sources close to him say he is doing his best to hold out
on the matter until everyone gets distracted by some other news, such as
a tsunami that kills thousands in the Pacific, or maybe a new U2 tour.