RETAILERS across the country are struggling to cope with the
increased demand for candles as fretful mothers across the country
panic-buy the product for this year’s Leaving Certificate examinations.

With thousands of pupils sitting down to English paper 1, mothers
nationwide have begun their annual ritual of lighting a candle in a bid
to get a good word in with God, who is known to hand out easy questions
and bonus knowledge to teenagers in exchange for that flickering light
in a window.
The surge in demand for candles has stretched candle-makers in recent
days, as parents rushed to buy as many as possible amid fears that
their kids had done little-to-no study all year and wouldn’t get enough
points to do teaching in St. Pats.
Churches have recorded huge increases in profits too, with some
parents paying as much as 20c per candle in chapels across the country.
“We’re waiting for a shipment to come in from Britain, hopefully in
time for Irish paper 2,” said Ian Shannon, spokesperson for the
Candlemakers Association of Ireland.”There has just been so much demand
from worried mothers that some of them are lighting one candle per
window, per exam.
“Some parents have resorted to lighting expensive scented Yankee
Candles, despite the fact that these have no sway on exam results at
all,” he warned.
Amid the chaos, spokespeople for the firefighting association of
Ireland have issued appeals for increased fire safety, after an
unattended candle lit for a Mayo student who hasn’t studied all year
caused a massive blaze which engulfed a housing estate in Westport,
killing nine.