WITH only 30 seconds elapsing since the end of 94 minutes worth of
pre-movie trailers, Sinead Harrison has begun to vocalise her theories
as to the identity of the killer in murder mystery movie Emoji Killer,
much to the consternation of her boyfriend Sean Gillen.
While the opening credits were still in their infancy, Sinead had
already asserted several times that she is almost certain she knows who
is carrying out the murders of the principal cast, despite the fact the
first murder has yet to occur.
“Bet ya he did it,” Sinead asserted as the figure of a whistling
postman cheerily delivering a letter into the mailbox of the lead
character, a high school cheerleader, played by 31-year-old Mila Kunis.
“But did ya not see the way he looked at the letter,” Sinead
whispered using a special technique which meant everyone in the cinema
could hear her, forcing Sean to ask her to shush.
“Actually no wait look at this lad, and the eyebrows on him, he deffo
did it,” Sinead quickly added once she laid eyes on only the third
character to appear in the movie, a charming but stuffy English teacher.
As the first murder occurred, Sinead immediately critiqued the
ensuing police investigation into the crime, casting real doubts about
the professionalism of the officers involved.
“Who walks into a crime scene munching on a donut? Ah, if that was me
now, I’d complain to his boss, have him fired and all,” Sinead said in
response to a question Sean never posed.
“Actually, you know what, I bet ya he did it,” Sinead said,
confirming her suspicion that in total every character that has appeared
on screen is the murderer.